Ancestral Forgiveness

how deep can the healing go?

[painting: Jules Breton]

My parents appeared to me together in a dream a few weeks ago. They often show up, but, divorced in life, never as a pair. I was in a vast field, grass blowing, sun setting or rising perhaps. clouds in the sky and there they were, smiling, holding hands, before me. “We want to be your parents again,” they announced.

“Really?” I said in the dream, profoundly startled. “I mean…really? I don’t know. Hunh. Can we talk about this?”

I woke up a moment later.

I have done a lot of healing work with both my mother and my father since they died. I’ve written a whole book (Take Back the Magic) about how my father made amends to me from the other side of the veil. I’m working now on a book about the treasures of wisdom my mother has bequeathed to me from beyond the grave. We’re good. I pray to them every day and I experience them as showing up easily, helpfully, and lovingly. When I think about seeing them again as I am dying (our parents show up for us when we are dying according to many psychics I know), I am filled with nothing but joy at the thought of our reunion. I often wish they were still present bodily in the world and we could laugh about all that has transpired, cook up a meal together, talk about their remarkable grandchildren, hold each other tight.

But have them again for parents?

I mean I’m happy to be their parents. I was ready on awakening to sign up for that job. I’ll raise you with magic, love you, pay attention to you, cultivate your gifts, ask you what is your heart’s desire, help you claim the long story of your soul. Of course. Bring it on! Count me on!

But have the two of you as my parents again? Umm, can we talk? I mean, they had lots of gifts, they were not monsters, but oh they were complicated, buffeted by the winds of the culture, spiritually clueless, distracted, dare I say it, kind of narcisstic. I mean in truth I was hoping for parents next time around who were grouned in their faith in the earth, who could recognize me for who I was and help me claim my talents and my joys. I was hoping for parents who were, maybe, a little easier, a little less dramatic, a little more gentle and loving.

I felt terrible. What would it take for me to achieve the kind of forgiveness with my parents that would allow me to say yes to their request. Honestly? I had no idea. It was a mystery I had to note and move on from.

I do know in my heart that what the dead want most is healing, forgiveness, the intimacy of love. Still, I was unprepared for what happened the next day.

My sister called to tell me that, miraculously, she no longer needed dialysis.

When my sister’s kidneys had failed last year, I had railed at my parents and positioned each of them on a kidney. Keep her from needing dialysis I implored them. But, unfortunately, my sister had ended up having to endure the ordeal of having her blood cleaned every other day. It is a very hard path. A number of times she was rushed to the ER from the clinic as her blood pressure crashed. Nor was she the most likely candidate for a transplant, given her age and health. Completely loyal to my parents disinterested atheism, she neverthless turned to me at one point and said, “Pray for me.” I already was, of course, but I stepped up my efforts. But, in truth, the only scenario I could imagine was her being an outlier for dialysis endurance. No one was talking about healing.

Almost no one gets off dialysis. But my sister did. Two days after my dream.

My sister is convinced it is the blueberries and I would like to give her commitment to her health real credit. She ate right. She exercized. But still. A lot of of people lose weight and eat blueberries. Nor was the timing lost on me…my parents DID heal her kidneys, dramatically, profoundly, in a way everyone at the clinic, the nurses and the doctors told my sister was “miraculous.” Oh, and for the added tell…they are cutting back but watching her numbers until January 11th to be absolutely certain her kidneys are working again. January 11th is my mother’s birthday.

Even though I work with the dead daily, teach others how to connect with their loved ones on the other side, I am still stunned at how much they love us.

I examined my heart and what I found was that all anger, resentment, and disappointment in my parents had vanished. My parents had remembered, once they were dead, who they really were and what magic they could really make happen. If they wanted to be my parents again that was fine by me. They just had to remember, when they incarnated again, to see with the eyes of the dead. When we can see with the eyes of the dead, we can remember who we really are.

Something seismic shifted within me over the following days, the foundation of my being altering so profoundly that I found myself praying for all kinds of karmic healing. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Guided by the moon, the seasons, the feast days of Our Lady I’m not even really sure when the “new year” is…maybe it’s more groundhog day for me? Or in the Fall, Rosh Hashanah? I don’t know. But I do pray for set periods of times and for my newest 54-day novena (two moons, one prayer) I realized I was praying to all my ancestral mothers and farmers for a Jubilee year, a great karmic moment of forgiveness in the ten directions. A Jubilee year was, in the ancient Jewish world, a year of forgiveness of debts, and it was probably what Yeshua was invoking with his words in the Our Father. But I, too, want to be forgiven and want to offer the dead opportunities for forgiveness. With the dead everything is possible. Miracles are possible. Magic is possible. Love is possible.

I still can’t quite believe it. But I am grateful, so grateful for the miracles of love.

---

Beginning on January 10th I will be offering my introductory workshop Ancestral Collaborations in which I guide participants to accessing their own magic and miracles with the help of those on the other side.

In this four-part introduction we will receive the basic guidance we need to recover the everyday enchantments that unfold all around us when we invite the dead back into our lives.

Every single one of us has intuitive and imaginative powers that can allow us to collaborate with those on the other side to generate miracles. Together, in this empowering introduction, we will each access the wisdom of our ancestors and awaken to a world filled with possibility, wonders and magic.

Together we will explore both traditional and creative ways to summon the dead, honor their presence, receive their messages and guidance, and nurture beneficial relationships of healing and empowerment.

We’ll explore summoning spells and sacred offerings, miracle cultivation, the healing that comes from working with ancestral cycles, the guidance of animal allies, and the power of connecting with the subterranean rivers of renewal and rebirth within. What does it mean to collaborate with our ancestors beyond patriarchy, beyond anthropocentrism, beyond time itself?

You can find out more and register here. All Zoom sessions are recorded and sent to all participants.

---