Brief Lives, Big Magic
activating the power of our soul appointments
If, after I died, I was given the choice to spend time again in the body of my mother from this life, I would answer with an enthusiastic, “yes.” She’s been gone now for decades but the ache in my heart to hold her, smell her, and touch grows only deeper. I do, of course, experience her as being very close to me, actively helpful in my life from the other side, and often in my dreams. But I miss that bodily tactile connection.
I used to love to cuddle up close to her when she read me a story. Her perfume, L’Air du Temps, clung to her soft skin. As an adult, I wouldn’t really feel home until I had hugged her. When she died, I took her body into my arms trying to memorize it. Of course I would choose to spend time in the body of my mother again, after this life.
But what if the schedule or the timing or the mysterious whatever (because time itself is a mystery) meant that I could only be with her for a month or two, that I might be with her for six months even, that I might never even be born? What if she wasn’t ready, in her new incarnation to give birth to a child? Would I still choose to spend time with her? What if I could only stay for a year or two and then I would have to succumb to an unexpected illness, an unforseeable tragedy? Would I still choose to be with her?
I would. My love and longing is so deep, the ache is so fierce. Love calls to love.
I find myself very frustrated around our conversations about what I call these “soul appointments” and how we process them. The abortions we choose and also grieve. The miscarriages that bring grief to the bottom of our souls. The losses and tragedies no theology can explain. But through my work with the dead, and my reclamation of the long story of my own soul, I’ve begun to feel into the deep mysteries of love and timing.
Still we need new ways to talk about these heartbreaking connection that are at once so brief and yet also so powerful. How do we access their magic, their power, and their love? What rituals and prayers do we need? What new stories are we going to tell about who these souls are and who we are?
This coming weekend I will be offering a very tender and special workshop on doing just this. Some souls do not have much time to spend with us. They make an appointment and stay as long as they, before they must head off on their next journey. But just because such encounters are brief does not mean they are not significant.
There is no way to measure the size of a soul. Every soul is long. Every encounter we have matters.
The miscarriage was a soul appointment. Abortions, too, are soul appointments. The suicides. The sudden losses. Sometimes a soul leaves one life quickly to arrive at another on time.
In this workshop we’ll explore rituals for processing our grief and accessing the magic of these encounters. These souls have connected with us because they want to collaborate. What kind of relationship are we going to have with them NOW?
Weekend Workshop, March 29th & 30th, 2025 – Three Sessions
Saturday, March 29th, 12-1:30pm EDT & 4-5:30pm EDT
Sunday, March 30th, 1-2:30pm EDT
All Sessions are on Zoom and each session is recorded and sent to all participants.
You can find out more about SOUL APPOINTMENTS here.
Perdita Finn is the author of Take Back the Magic: Conversations with the Other Side and the forthcoming Mothers of Magic: Recovering the Love at the Heart of the World. She teaches popular workshops on collaborating with our ancestors and accessing the miracles of the dead. With her husband Clark Strand she is the founder of The Way of the Rose, a fellowship dedicated to the “Lady by any name you like to call Her,” and the co-author of the book of the same name. She lives with her family in the Catskill Mountains.
