One of my ‘baby’ sister Shari’s favorite songs was/is Once in A Lifetime.
And you may ask yourself: “well, how did I get here?”
She asked herself often, especially during the eight years in between the accidental death of her 12 year old son and her death at 47 from liver failure - her self-medication of the traumatic loss and grief at her son’s death.
There have been moments in the 19 years since then where I rail and scream at The Is for taking her from me. It’s less now, the wailing… but I still sing with Byrne and my sister… How did I get here? and My God, what have I done? Sometimes with a big grin on my face.
A treasured grief counselor and consciousness guide once replied to my satirical statement “I would never have agreed to be born had I known, etc.”— of course you did, Donna. I think so too, now.
So here I am — The Is experiencing that pain is not punishment, and pleasure is not a reward.
Forgive my goofy serpentine tangent, Perdita. I love what you write about us all. 🫶
Oh Donna, these mysteries can hurt so deep, can't they???? I often think about the lives we leave too soon to arrive at another incarnation on time...but still, still. My favorite song, too, and as I finished this essay I got a notice that the Talking Heads were planning a 50th anniversary tour. Right on time indeed.
We don’t know. Like you, I became the guardian of the strays like the diabetic cat who was never under control, even with insulin, to the one with congestive heart failure. All I can say is that we love them to the nth degree and pray that we release them in right timing. With love.
thank you Nancy...I know how forgiving the animals are, that there is no wrong step for this little boy but he has always been such a lost little boy. I've been trying to call in his cocker spaniel mommy to help.
This is wonderful. It underlines the need to accept mystery, which sometimes feels like an ancient relic which doesn’t quite fit the Instacart age. A few weeks back, I think I was in the shower or falling asleep but the words bubbled up within me, “Great is the mystery of your arrival on Earth.” I’m eagerly awaiting the rest of that chapter!
My niece died today after a 13 years of cancer and cancer treatments. Thank you. This was comforting. I read it to my daughter, she found it comforting too.
oh my dear Maura, my heart goes out to your whole family...I will tell you that I wrote this piece about my animals but I am also thinking about two beloved friends who are coming to the end of their runs with cancer, and how hard it is and has been. I don't know anything but I know my heart is breaking at all you are experiencing.
"Overactive libido in a fixed feline..." That just made me laugh out loud. My mind went wild possible scenarios ! I enjoyed your tale of rescues. Since almost every animal that has ever lived with me was a rescue, I've resigned myself to knowing that, because they had a life before coming to me, I'll never know where their quirks and fears come from.
Yes, this mystery is always there for me. It often leaves me with a lot of frustration. As I age, I handle the not-knowing better, but the aggravation is still there. Many times, I've thought, "Well I'll have the answers when I die." But will I? It's a mystery.
One of my ‘baby’ sister Shari’s favorite songs was/is Once in A Lifetime.
And you may ask yourself: “well, how did I get here?”
She asked herself often, especially during the eight years in between the accidental death of her 12 year old son and her death at 47 from liver failure - her self-medication of the traumatic loss and grief at her son’s death.
There have been moments in the 19 years since then where I rail and scream at The Is for taking her from me. It’s less now, the wailing… but I still sing with Byrne and my sister… How did I get here? and My God, what have I done? Sometimes with a big grin on my face.
A treasured grief counselor and consciousness guide once replied to my satirical statement “I would never have agreed to be born had I known, etc.”— of course you did, Donna. I think so too, now.
So here I am — The Is experiencing that pain is not punishment, and pleasure is not a reward.
Forgive my goofy serpentine tangent, Perdita. I love what you write about us all. 🫶
Oh Donna, these mysteries can hurt so deep, can't they???? I often think about the lives we leave too soon to arrive at another incarnation on time...but still, still. My favorite song, too, and as I finished this essay I got a notice that the Talking Heads were planning a 50th anniversary tour. Right on time indeed.
An anniversary tour!! 💖
😃😍🤩
We don’t know. Like you, I became the guardian of the strays like the diabetic cat who was never under control, even with insulin, to the one with congestive heart failure. All I can say is that we love them to the nth degree and pray that we release them in right timing. With love.
thank you Nancy...I know how forgiving the animals are, that there is no wrong step for this little boy but he has always been such a lost little boy. I've been trying to call in his cocker spaniel mommy to help.
Asking for help from the ancestrals.
This is wonderful. It underlines the need to accept mystery, which sometimes feels like an ancient relic which doesn’t quite fit the Instacart age. A few weeks back, I think I was in the shower or falling asleep but the words bubbled up within me, “Great is the mystery of your arrival on Earth.” I’m eagerly awaiting the rest of that chapter!
My niece died today after a 13 years of cancer and cancer treatments. Thank you. This was comforting. I read it to my daughter, she found it comforting too.
oh my dear Maura, my heart goes out to your whole family...I will tell you that I wrote this piece about my animals but I am also thinking about two beloved friends who are coming to the end of their runs with cancer, and how hard it is and has been. I don't know anything but I know my heart is breaking at all you are experiencing.
Thank you Perdita.
"Overactive libido in a fixed feline..." That just made me laugh out loud. My mind went wild possible scenarios ! I enjoyed your tale of rescues. Since almost every animal that has ever lived with me was a rescue, I've resigned myself to knowing that, because they had a life before coming to me, I'll never know where their quirks and fears come from.
Yes, this mystery is always there for me. It often leaves me with a lot of frustration. As I age, I handle the not-knowing better, but the aggravation is still there. Many times, I've thought, "Well I'll have the answers when I die." But will I? It's a mystery.