Currently, I'm confused, horrified, devastated. I can't think, can't meditate. I can pray. Praying that, after grieving, I can get back up and give my best in my personal world.
Oh Perdita I have been plunged into the dark night of the soul. To know that my prayer is not wanted by most people because they are praying to the almighty Walmart rather than their own rights over their bodies and ways of being has shattered my illusion, and really everything I have worked to support and stand up for that is my prayer....well people really don't want it, and I am exhausted. Because my prayer has never been for just me and mine. Feeling like anything I have ever done, or had visions of doing has no value in this society or lifetime. I am sure I will emerge but this is the soup I am in, and really feel like I am done standing up for people who have no desire to stand up for themselves.
the only sobriety (and the only joy) is tapping into the long story of our souls through deep time--where all prayers, all real soul prayers, are answered. What do YOU want? Not for others but for yourself? What prayer would give you a wild, resilient, unshakeable joy? Because that joy is what has always brought down empires. And I want all empires to fall. Civilization to fall. I don't wan to reform it. I want to know where to put my feet as it collapses around me.
Currently, I'm confused, horrified, devastated. I can't think, can't meditate. I can pray. Praying that, after grieving, I can get back up and give my best in my personal world.
and ask yourself what YOU want...in the face of fascism knowing what you want is a small act of revolution. Dare to want what you want.
Oh Perdita I have been plunged into the dark night of the soul. To know that my prayer is not wanted by most people because they are praying to the almighty Walmart rather than their own rights over their bodies and ways of being has shattered my illusion, and really everything I have worked to support and stand up for that is my prayer....well people really don't want it, and I am exhausted. Because my prayer has never been for just me and mine. Feeling like anything I have ever done, or had visions of doing has no value in this society or lifetime. I am sure I will emerge but this is the soup I am in, and really feel like I am done standing up for people who have no desire to stand up for themselves.
the only sobriety (and the only joy) is tapping into the long story of our souls through deep time--where all prayers, all real soul prayers, are answered. What do YOU want? Not for others but for yourself? What prayer would give you a wild, resilient, unshakeable joy? Because that joy is what has always brought down empires. And I want all empires to fall. Civilization to fall. I don't wan to reform it. I want to know where to put my feet as it collapses around me.
And this is why I love you. In truth I feel the same. But that collapse is also very scary to me.